But really, this year I started without a plan. I just uttered in my most silent prayer to Him that for whatever His plans for me let it be aligned with the desires of my heart.
A lot has happened to me this year. I have experienced the most unexpected twist of my career. It hurts at first, but then I remembered that 𝒘𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅. The same reason that the Lord has brought me to international waters should be the same reason that He has sent me home. To play the role that He has planned for me. To touch lives. To be a blessing. To live a fulfilled life.
This year I experienced the kind of happiness that my second love has brought. After a not-so-good relationship from the past, it gave me a new hope. I have been positive that everyone deserves a second chance. New love. New bliss. New happiness. As you mature, you tried harder this time to make things work. You strive to be a better partner. You gave your best at one take. You aim to be at your best version in your new relationship. But really, the more you tried sometimes fate plays a joke on you. The second love might have turned his back at me. At the most unexpected season of my life, still I am grateful. I was happy. Again. I wouldnt have been so happy again had I not opened my heart. Things went too fast. So as our love for each other. Rather his love for me. We all deserve to be happy, alone or in a relationship.
Lastly, this year is the first time that me and my kid lived separately from my parents. I experienced the kind of different moods that a parent went through daily. Its fun and stressful at times but at the end of the day, my heart is full. I sleep and wake up with a grateful heart. I am no-wonderwoman-mom but I am trying each day to be the best mom I could be to my daughter. I am no-perfect-mom but I am giving my all in this calling. I may have failed for other things but at least I wont as a mom. And if i did or will, I will forgive my self. The most important thing is I gave my all. I may be a failure to the most judging eyes this land has, but I know in my heart that in the very eyes of my daughter - I am the best mom in the world. I couldnt ask for more.
So as I bid farewel to 2021, I am bringing nothing but a grateful heart and a fulfilled version of my self with me. My heart is ready to play the role that God has prepared me for in this new chapter of my life.
Together, let's face and jump to 2022 stronger this time 😉 and a lot happier 💜
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