Blissful New Year

You would stare and wonder, what have happened this year? What have I done differently? What have I ticked from my list? Which place I missed to visit? And so on...

But really, this year I started without a plan. I just uttered in my most silent prayer to Him that for whatever His plans for me let it be aligned with the desires of my heart. 

A lot has happened to me this year. I have experienced the most unexpected twist of my career. It hurts at first, but then I remembered that 𝒘𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅. The same reason that the Lord has brought me to international waters should be the same reason that He has sent me home. To play the role that He has planned for me. To touch lives. To be a blessing. To live a fulfilled life.

This year I experienced the kind of happiness that my second love has brought. After a not-so-good relationship from the past, it gave me a new hope. I have been positive that everyone deserves a second chance. New love. New bliss. New happiness. As you mature, you tried harder this time to make things work. You strive to be a better partner. You gave your best at one take. You aim to be at your best version in your new relationship. But really, the more you tried sometimes fate plays a joke on you. The second love might have turned his back at me. At the most unexpected season of my life, still I am grateful. I was happy. Again. I wouldnt have been so happy again had I not opened my heart. Things went too fast. So as our love for each other. Rather his love for me. We all deserve to be happy, alone or in a relationship.

Lastly, this year is the first time that me and my kid lived separately from my parents. I experienced the kind of different moods that a parent went through daily. Its fun and stressful at times but at the end of the day, my heart is full. I sleep and wake up with a grateful heart. I am no-wonderwoman-mom but I am trying each day to be the best mom I could be to my daughter. I am no-perfect-mom but I am giving my all in this calling. I may have failed for other things but at least I wont as a mom. And if i did or will, I will forgive my self. The most important thing is I gave my all. I may be a failure to the most judging eyes this land has, but I know in my heart that in the very eyes of my daughter - I am the best mom in the world. I couldnt ask for more.

So as I bid farewel to 2021, I am bringing nothing but a grateful heart and a fulfilled version of my self with me. My heart is ready to play the role that God has prepared me for in this new chapter of my life. 

Together, let's face and jump to 2022 stronger this time 😉 and a lot happier 💜

You could be that someone

𝑯𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒇 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒅? 𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏? 𝑶𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒛𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒌𝒂𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒆?

At a certain point in our lives, we will face this most life-changing decision to make. That will last for a lifetime. And as they say, be extra careful. Be secured. Be prepared. But why nobody told us to be strong? Strong enough to live with the choices we make. 

You could be that someone who get cheated once and decided to finally close your heart to anybody. However, you are enjoying life, travelling here and there, fulfilled and happy.  

You could be that someone who get cheated once, tried for another love and broken twice and yet still open for third love. Just enjoying life, living in the moment and just being happy while in the journey of waiting.

You could be that someone who almost got married but ran away just before or on your wedding day. Now your are happily living on your own. In a new and faraway land.

You could be that someone who is married, in a relationship but miserable. Just finding the right timing to escape. 

You could be that someone who's strong enough to live and enjoy life alone with someone in your heart and yet no longer wanting to be with that person.

Or you could be that someone who is happily married with a loving partner. Enjoying the married life and living your dream.

The point is, you hold the key to the kind of life that you want to build. The kind of life that you want to live. You are the main character in your story. You have the 100% power to choose the role you want to play on. And when you are at it, give your 100% at first take. Dont consider a 2nd take. You will never know if there will be. 

If no one reminds you this, then I will own this part. Be strong enough to live with every choices you make in life. And just be okay with the idea that being in a relationship is not for everyone. And in whatever case, be happy with the role you have chosen to play on. 

Ciao!

Three Different Love

One love. One man. One woman.

That's how you see your love will be.

When I was in my 20's, my dream was to meet a love that is totally not connected from where I came from. Haven't been to the place where I grew up. Doesn't know my childhood, my most embarassing moment and my ugliest nickname. What I had in mind was that it would be easier to be my most-controlled-me and so-called best of me. Like having fresh beginnings. I surely met my first love. It was beautiful. We were inlove. Planning big leaps in life together, raising a family and many more. Then all of a sudden, it all went to the brink. Slowly. Everyday. And before we knew it, we fell out of love. Disrespect each other. Criticize each other. The warm home became frozen.And the next thing we knew we already went back to being strangers. No not strangers. We were just two lost souls. He was an escapist while I'm more confrontational.

After a decade of being a strong, independent woman. Paying my own bills, raising my kid solely financially and planning big things alone. Which still I am 😉. I met my second love. Someone I knew from the past. I let him in thinking that it would be real, calm and lasting this time. Thinking that love would be easier and happier this time around having someone you are familiar with. No facade. No pretentions. Just genuine me. Genuine love. Sure it was beautiful. Happy. Homy. But we met when both of us are broken. Subconsciously broken. Deeply broken. No matter how hard you hide things from each other, it will eventually come out. We were broken differently. Several times. But we tried to be happy. We planned big things too. Together. Then all of a sudden things went ghostly. Another escapist. And still the old confrontational me. We got disconnected. Not because of the distance but maybe because he doesnt want to be reached. Or I pushed him way too far.

We will never be really enough for someone who doesnt love us genuinely and wholely. If you can't love someone at his worst, then don't expect to be benefiting when he is at his best. If you can't commit to the relationship, then don't expect either to be savouring all the luxuries ☺️. There is no such thing as free lunch in this world. You always get what you invested. You have to pay a price to take out something. 

The third love is your highest level of loving yourself. You are not an option. You are meant to be the first priority. First choice. Someone who will choose you everyday no matter how difficult it becomes. Someone who will love you wholely, for who and what you are. Someone who is gentle towards you despite your attitude. Someone who easily forgives you despite repetetive mistakes. Someone who sees their future with you in it. Someone who will pick you up everytime you fall. Someone who will pull yourself out in the crowd when your about to doze off. Someone who will introduce you to Him to be healed. Someone who will keep cheering you up in all you do. Regardless of how little things are. Someone who will treat you to a relaxing spa or a luxurious dinner after a very tiring day. Someone who will shower you gifts because you worked hard for it. Someone who can love you more than anyone else in this Planet Earth. And that's no other than 𝐲𝐨𝐮. Because you are capable to give the love you wish to receive. Because you were made because of love. Because you have so much love in you. And 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 up there has loved you first.

You are capable to buy the things you wish to receive. You are capable to build the future that you look forward to. And you are more than capable to provide for your needs, wants and all the luxuries in life. Because 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 up there is your 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫. Don't keep looking outside. Nowhere. Else you will end up knocking at wrong doors. Worst, you will end up opening doors to wrong people.

You just have to look up and look in the mirror. They are your constants. Now read that again. Louder. Keep your head high and straight. That is where you are meant to be going. Forward. 

It's not the Distance

Many of us would agree here that a long distance relationship (LDR) is not for everyone. And that it takes two strong and whole persons to survive the distance. However, it also requires an openness to communication, resolving issues, accepting and working on differences and confrontations. It also grows with the same loyalty and the amount of time that each person is willing to put in. And so many more.

Here are some brief notes, Do's and Dont's in LDR:

Know and understand each other's love language.

Yes, this is very important. By knowing and understanding your partner's love language will guide you on how to make your partner happy, to sustain and later elevate the relationship to the next level. It's not necessary that you both have the same love language. If you do understand each other's need and norturing, invest on that. Make an effort. Until such time it becomes natural to you. The deeper you know and understand each other, the easier things will become. The happier you will be. The stronger the relationship will stand. But lucky you if your partner has the same love language as you do. Still, just by knowing wont guarantee you a long lasting relationship. It always requires  commitment, investment and effort.

Discuss LDR arrangements before the other party leaves. Commit and be consistent.

Before your partner is set to leave, make sure to discuss the means of communication, timing, possible technical faults, Do's and Dont's, ways on how to norture the relationship and reminders not to do monkey business. We are humans, so we tend to deviate from our normal routine and the other party will take it as inconsistency. And when one sees inconsistency, that is tantamount to doubts, jealousy, trust issues and things could really go badly.

Women in general can really work in FBI or CIA. When a man leaves a small single trace of evidence, the findings and conclusions women would gather and arrive to is not gonna be good for you guys. But if a woman keeps quiet, then lucky you when she founds nothing. But poor you, when she keeps quiet and just taking down notes. 

So be consistent guys. A woman will only start doubting if she sees a sign of inconsistency. Commit to what has been agreed and execute consistently. Work on that.

Openness to communication and confrontation.

Open communication among partners is very crucial. A minor disagreement could lead to a serious one and worst to break-up. Disagreements are normal and inevitable. This is not a prefect world. You are neither perfect. However, if disagreements can be settled and discuss without having a fight then there is a huge chance for the relationship to work. Be open for confrontation. That is is part of adulting. Remaining quiet when there's disagreement wont get the relationship to the next level. 

Open communication is the next key. In a relationship, be comfortable to discuss everything such as plans, dreams, failures, finances, beliefs, feelings, problems, issues, differences, family, friends, experiences, travels, routines, bad days and about work(non-confidential) or anything under the sun.The distance is already there. So when the other party remains quiet despite the effort and persistent reaching out of the other party, then 99% probability that the relationship will not survive. That is like having somebody on the other line and all of a sudden he hangs up while you are talking. Please dont do that.

Resolving issues and accepting differences.

Each of us are beautifully and differently made. We are raise from different homes. We have been through different experiences in life too. We learned differently. So it is just normal to have differences. What is important is that both parties are willing to accept each other's differences. Respect each other's differences. And agree on something that will work for both and the relationship. 

Walking away because of differences and issues is not gonna get the relationship to the next level. It will surely get you and the relationship somewhere. Well, that's break-up and being back to strangers. The moment you walk away and turn your back to your partner, she/he has been preparing to be strong and alone as well. So by the time you come back or maybe before that, she/he has already decided to be just happy and alone. Please don't let that happen.

 It is always better to sit and discuss (virtually) and resolve matters. Again, no fighting is required. Just talk. If the discussion gets hot, know when to stop.

Choosing your person and the relationship daily.

As they say, love is the main ingredient in a relationship. This is partly true as the other ingredient is by choosing the person you love everyday. Choosing the relationship everyday. This is your assurance.

By choosing the person you love everyday means, not only when the person is at his/her best state, not only when he/she is happy, but it's choosing to love the person even at her worst, bad hair days, failures and despite the differences, the disagreements and disappointments. Choosing your person even if it's already hard. 

And by choosing the relationship not only means when things are going smoothly. This life is a battle field. Things can go wrong the least you expect it. So always choose the relationship even when it's rocky, despite the misunderstandings and even when things are difficult. 

Pray together and work things out together.

In a relationship, God should be at the center of it. Pray together. When you succeed, He will be there applauding you. 

And when all else fails, He will still be there for you. He takes care of everything. 

Your key person will always be Him. When in doubt, troubled, restless, angry, happy, planning for something big or anything. Talk to Him first. If you have something to complain about your partner and your relationship, talk to Him first. Seek for guidance. Seek His blessings. 

No miles, mountains and seas that can hinder your love and relationship if you keep choosing each other, keep praying for each other and choosing to love each other despite all the chaos in this world.

And that's it. I hope you can pick something valuable from this article. 

Here is my part reminding you to always choose love. Ciao!