Here are some brief notes, Do's and Dont's in LDR:
Know and understand each other's love language.
Yes, this is very important. By knowing and understanding your partner's love language will guide you on how to make your partner happy, to sustain and later elevate the relationship to the next level. It's not necessary that you both have the same love language. If you do understand each other's need and norturing, invest on that. Make an effort. Until such time it becomes natural to you. The deeper you know and understand each other, the easier things will become. The happier you will be. The stronger the relationship will stand. But lucky you if your partner has the same love language as you do. Still, just by knowing wont guarantee you a long lasting relationship. It always requires commitment, investment and effort.
Discuss LDR arrangements before the other party leaves. Commit and be consistent.
Before your partner is set to leave, make sure to discuss the means of communication, timing, possible technical faults, Do's and Dont's, ways on how to norture the relationship and reminders not to do monkey business. We are humans, so we tend to deviate from our normal routine and the other party will take it as inconsistency. And when one sees inconsistency, that is tantamount to doubts, jealousy, trust issues and things could really go badly.
Women in general can really work in FBI or CIA. When a man leaves a small single trace of evidence, the findings and conclusions women would gather and arrive to is not gonna be good for you guys. But if a woman keeps quiet, then lucky you when she founds nothing. But poor you, when she keeps quiet and just taking down notes.
So be consistent guys. A woman will only start doubting if she sees a sign of inconsistency. Commit to what has been agreed and execute consistently. Work on that.
Openness to communication and confrontation.
Open communication among partners is very crucial. A minor disagreement could lead to a serious one and worst to break-up. Disagreements are normal and inevitable. This is not a prefect world. You are neither perfect. However, if disagreements can be settled and discuss without having a fight then there is a huge chance for the relationship to work. Be open for confrontation. That is is part of adulting. Remaining quiet when there's disagreement wont get the relationship to the next level.
Open communication is the next key. In a relationship, be comfortable to discuss everything such as plans, dreams, failures, finances, beliefs, feelings, problems, issues, differences, family, friends, experiences, travels, routines, bad days and about work(non-confidential) or anything under the sun.The distance is already there. So when the other party remains quiet despite the effort and persistent reaching out of the other party, then 99% probability that the relationship will not survive. That is like having somebody on the other line and all of a sudden he hangs up while you are talking. Please dont do that.
Resolving issues and accepting differences.
Each of us are beautifully and differently made. We are raise from different homes. We have been through different experiences in life too. We learned differently. So it is just normal to have differences. What is important is that both parties are willing to accept each other's differences. Respect each other's differences. And agree on something that will work for both and the relationship.
Walking away because of differences and issues is not gonna get the relationship to the next level. It will surely get you and the relationship somewhere. Well, that's break-up and being back to strangers. The moment you walk away and turn your back to your partner, she/he has been preparing to be strong and alone as well. So by the time you come back or maybe before that, she/he has already decided to be just happy and alone. Please don't let that happen.
It is always better to sit and discuss (virtually) and resolve matters. Again, no fighting is required. Just talk. If the discussion gets hot, know when to stop.
Choosing your person and the relationship daily.
As they say, love is the main ingredient in a relationship. This is partly true as the other ingredient is by choosing the person you love everyday. Choosing the relationship everyday. This is your assurance.
By choosing the person you love everyday means, not only when the person is at his/her best state, not only when he/she is happy, but it's choosing to love the person even at her worst, bad hair days, failures and despite the differences, the disagreements and disappointments. Choosing your person even if it's already hard.
And by choosing the relationship not only means when things are going smoothly. This life is a battle field. Things can go wrong the least you expect it. So always choose the relationship even when it's rocky, despite the misunderstandings and even when things are difficult.
Pray together and work things out together.
In a relationship, God should be at the center of it. Pray together. When you succeed, He will be there applauding you.
And when all else fails, He will still be there for you. He takes care of everything.
Your key person will always be Him. When in doubt, troubled, restless, angry, happy, planning for something big or anything. Talk to Him first. If you have something to complain about your partner and your relationship, talk to Him first. Seek for guidance. Seek His blessings.
No miles, mountains and seas that can hinder your love and relationship if you keep choosing each other, keep praying for each other and choosing to love each other despite all the chaos in this world.
And that's it. I hope you can pick something valuable from this article.
Here is my part reminding you to always choose love. Ciao!
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